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Best use for AOL CDs? | 28 comments | Create New Account

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Boil water?

Authored by: Anonymous (Anonymous User) on Monday, March 17 2003 @ 04:20 am EST

Excellent idea!

What about taking the idea one step further and creating a massive, highly mobile, Earth-orbiting, precisely aligned super-array of the aforementioned LOL CDs to gather and concentrate the rays of the Sun and focus them onto a target of your choice on the Earth below. This super weapon can be used to destroy radar installations and fry infrastructure in enemy command centres. It will bring about the age of truly pinpoint accurate attacks and do away with the need for bunker-busting nuclear warheads.

The high energy beam would be able to penetrate the steel hull of tanks and armored vehicles. It would easily reach underground shelters and bunkers. Foxholes would be no protection either: just aim and shoot through the earth into your target. Anyone or anything in the path of a one-megawatt pulse would instantly become a molecular cloud. It truly would be an ultimate weapon. There will no longer be any place to hide, nor to run.

It could come with the following extra features:

Easy to Use;
Online Help;
Integrated Email and Chat;
Use the Army/Navy/Air Force at the same time;
Parental State controls;
Comes with a free trial version of Instant Death Messenger.

On the down side, it would automatically filter out all the harmful rays, defeating the object of the exercise, and thereby rendering the entire thing a big heap of shiny beer mats full of "Piece of Shit Apps". Oh well, back to the drawing board...

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